why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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