This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
