Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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