Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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