cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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