maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
