K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
