I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
