i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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