He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
