There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
