On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
