I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize