dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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