every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
