I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
