I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I supernannyed him into submission
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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