Come see our sink grown plant.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
