my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
