Pappa wants mamma naked
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
