TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
