What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
