You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
