Its about making memories worth repressing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
