i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
