that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize