She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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