hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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