all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
