How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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