We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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