Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize