I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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