I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
