...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Porn is love you can see.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
