After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Damn victory sex feels great
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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