i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
