So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
