I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
