Just cropdusted the office
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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