You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
