Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
