She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
