Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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