I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i think i have herpe
just one?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i love accidental penises.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
