It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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