she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
