I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
