sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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