he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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