I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
