my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
