There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
