it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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