If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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